September 5 - Pickens Over Partisanship

So this is my first op-ed of the 2008-2009 year in the Oberlin Review. If you think I'm just a bloviator puffing hot air through your screen, say it to my virtual face.

Wait a second... bloviator has that red dotted line under it signifying that it's not a real word. Frank Rich made up a word! What a man.

Democrats and Republicans have begrudgingly agreed on the necessity of moving toward energy independence. Each party rightfully warns us of the increasing threats from ascendant world powers and shadowy terrorist networks. They agree that this election represents a historic and pivotal crossroads in the history of our nation, and that the two candidates are as culturally disparate as tofu and T-bone steak.

But despite repeated promises from both sides to the contrary, partisan bickering has predictably squeezed the juice of the issues out of the spotlight once again. Though the Democrats held a strong, inspired convention, they followed it in poor taste when they jumped on Sarah Palin’s series of scandals before stopping to talk about her record. Palin, in turn, spent a good portion of her VP acceptance speech distorting Obama’s economic plan – implying for example that “the Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes” on everyone. In reality, Obama has promised to increase taxes, but only on families making over $250,000 per year.

If we want to make real progress in this country – something both Democrats and Republicans seem to agree on – we should look neither to tofu nor T-bones, but to T. Boone. T. Boone Pickens, a man who made his $3 billion fortune as an oil magnate in the 1980’s and threw his support behind the Swift boat slanderers of 2004, now proudly stands at the forefront of the energy independence movement.

Over a year ago, Pickens clairvoyantly laid plans to build a wind farm five times more powerful than what is currently the largest wind farm in the world. To be completed by 2011, the farm will sprawl across 200,000 acres of Texas and produce about four gigawatts of electricity, which is enough to power at least 1.6 million homes.

On July 8 he introduced his Pickens Plan, an initiative to gently ease America of its foreign oil dependency and clean up the world in the process. It will be like the twelve step program for alcoholics, but with fewer steps.

Calling America “the Saudi Arabia of wind power”, Pickens urges private industry to install wind turbines en masse in the Great Plains – America’s “wind corridor” – which the Department of Energy reports could supply at least 20% of the country’s energy. All of this investment would also serve as a spark for the miserable Midwestern economy.

How is it that Pickens can so freely betray the slick stuff that built his unfathomable fortune, and with it the “drill now!” chant of today’s GOP? How can he proclaim such grand goals with so much confidence? An interview he gave on Fox News explains all:

Cavuto: This ticket is down eight points in the latest polls, very early, I know. What do you think?

Pickens: Down eight points, if that is what you told me. I told you I’m out of this race. I’m not doing…

Cavuto: But you are a lifelong Republican.

Pickens: Yes, I am, but – listen, I am totally nonpartisan. And I have made some of my Republican friends mad.

Cavuto: Are you more partisan to the Republicans or the Democrats?

Pickens: No, I am not partisan.

Cavuto: See, in the past, you would have just said, ‘Oh, I am Republican. I love John McCain.’

Pickens: No, we’re…

Cavuto: See, now you are, like, being very coy. You’re hedging your bets.

Pickens: No, I’m all out.

Both campaigns have given lip to unifying the country in the name of progress. Obama reached out to the other side by feigning to believe that offshore drilling could be a legitimate part of our future energy plan. McCain’s idea of placating the left was to pick a VP who recently said, “I beg to disagree with any candidate who would say we can't drill our way out of our [energy] problem.” Well then, Ms. Palin, you beg to disagree with Bush’s Department of Energy, which says that initiating offshore drilling projects now “would not have a significant impact on domestic crude oil and natural gas production or prices before 2030.” And I beg that the American people won’t be duped by your divisive smokescreen politics.